Permiable boundaries

We discussed boundaries at a meeting the other day. It was a good discussion.

Boundaries work both ways: they let things in and they let things out. Boundaries protect, but they also allow. Healthy boundaries keep bad things out and let good things in. And maybe they let good things out and keep bad things in?

One boundary difficulty I have is that I let negative criticism in too easily and fail to let in positive criticism. Say something bad about me, and I believe that. Say something good about me, and I discount it. It's a strange thing; a sad thing. I do believe good things about myself, but maybe I don't believe that other people really believe those things?

There are good reasons to have defensive boundaries, but I tend to maintain defenses long after they are needed. I'm over-insured.

There's a bit of a sphinx about me. I don't share enough of myself with people. That's confusing to people, because they don't know where I stand. And also, I am very likely to let my hostilities show to people and that's off-putting.

Then there are just the normal, human interactions that don't make their way into my heart. How often do I stand perplexed while others laugh? Or cry? Or even get angry? My boundaries make me aloof.

How do I loosen my boundaries? My hard boundaries were all built as a defense, so I think renovating them is a matter of trust:

1. Trust that people like me.
2. Trust that people want the best for me.
3. Trust that the occasional injury is outweighed by the continual benefit of openness.
4. Trust that I won't be destroyed by my vulnerabilities.

I guess it all comes down to a trust in God, in the universe of caring love, support and understanding. It's out there. It's truer than my fears. And it's better too.

Today.





There are valves in our arteries and veins that only allow the blood to flow one way. This seems to be the way