One year

Yesterday was one year of continuous abstinence from my bottom-line behaviors. I've had the date in mind of course all year. But I've not been too attentive to it.

It passed without notice.

I remembered it this morning at the meeting.

I'm ambivalent about it. I suppose it's because I don't feel very good these days. Too often I don't feel good. Too often when I do feel good it seems to be followed by a fall.

I don't have the slightest interest in celebrating.

I take too much for granted. I am very grateful to be sober today, even if I don't feel very good. I wouldn't feel any better if I had only one day right now.

Expectations. Impatience. Trying to force outcomes. Please God, help me to let go.